Views from 2018

My plan for the past few months has to been to write a summary about 2018. A summary that would list out bulleted points and numbered top lessons of the year. But here we are a few weeks into 2019 and all I can think about is how this year has started so differently than any previous years. It’s brought swift change and great opportunities while simultaneously bringing a lesson in slowing down to be present and learning to be ok with grief and sadness.

So what about 2018? 2018 taught me that consistency in the small things breeds excellence in the big things. It’s the small habits we form, or don’t form, that are fed in the day to day choices we make. For me, that is choosing to sleep in a few minutes excessively that turned into me being a slow riser getting out of the bed. On the flip side, it was also choosing to take an extra 5 minutes in my morning and nighttime skincare routines so that I would wake up with hydrated, glowing skin. Stay moisturized folks!

There are still many great lessons that 2018 taught me such as:

1)When in doubt trust your gut.

Trust that little voice in the back of your head that’s giving you the answer you don’t want to hear.

2) Time is of the essence.

I LOVE Oprah’s opening quote on Soul Sessions, “I believe that one of the most valuable gifts you can give yourself is time — taking time to be more fully present. Your journey to become more inspired and connected to the deeper world around us starts right now." (2019 goals in summary!).

She hits on three major themes: time, present and now. They require us to be awake to what’s happening in our lives, intentional on how our time is spent and present in life.

I lost both my cousin and aunt within the span of 4 months of each other — they both died from the same disease and I’m going through the same grieving process for both. While I am currently burnt out on hospital visits and have zero desire to step foot in a hospital anytime soon, more importantly, I have zero desire to spend time not living a life that aligns with my purpose and passions. I have zero desire to not live my life on purpose. Perhaps this impatient lack of tolerance for nonchalant living pushes me to move a bit too hastily and keeps my plate full, but it also pushes me to have laser vision on my north star, my Faith.

3) While we’re on the topic of time: Dedicated time spent recharging is non-negotiable.

If my family, friends, and job want my best — better yet, if I want my best for myself then I must have “turn off” time alone or in a quiet place where I can recharge. Even if only for 1 hour a week. It has to happen.

Quick tip! Schedule one dedicated day each week that you do the same thing to recharge: take a bubble bath, read, go on a walk, have a brainstorm with a friend(s), go to pottery class, journal, etc.

4) Be your own advocate.

This is an entire post itself so I will circle back around on this subject later. But for now - get clear on what you want (in your career, current job role, the business you want to start, love, etc.) and then advocate for the support you need to get there. → Seek help from others!

5) Acknowledge, Accept and Embrace your ambition.

I mean every single ounce of ambition that is within you. This is probably the most important lesson I learned in 2018. I’ve spent a lot of time over the years being timid and playing coy with my ambition only for it to produce inner turmoil and resentment in my relationships. Why resentment to others? Because I was making myself small to fit into who I needed to be for others at any given time. Let me say it more clearly: I was making myself smaller so other people could feel more comfortable around me.

One more time for the people in the back: I’ve spent a lot of unnecessary time making myself small in rooms and conversations because I was afraid of my own ambition and who I could become if I accepted that part of me. Speaking from experience — don’t do that! ‘Reconsider. Read some literature on the subject’ (here and here).

There’s a scene in Madame Secretary where the VP says the Secretary of State that she’s spent a lot of time seeing women be afraid and play coy with their own ambition. Granted she was telling the Secretary to own up to wanting to make a run for President, but nevertheless, this scene gave me chills because she basically read my entire life to me in 2 minutes! 2 minutes, yall.

I know I started off anti-numbered points, but the type-A in me could not resist a structured post so here we are. Each of these 5 points begins with consistency in the (seemingly) smaller areas of our lives.

I’d like to encourage each of us to not play coy with our lives— be present, we’re in this game so let’s play to win! Our time is now — it’s not going anywhere, but away. I hope we all grasp 2019 with gusto, grit, love and with the intent of living our lives on purpose.

Until we chat again,

-Kim